on May 16, 2012 by admin in Freud, prostitution, Secret Service, sex, Comments (1)

The Secret Service: Sex, Lies and AAA Batteries, part I

Sigmund Freud would have had a field day over how sex and perversion have spilled out onto the front pages of US media: not only am I referring to Time Magazine’s foray into incest with a cover picture of a skinny-jean clad baby-mama breast feeding her three-year-old toddler, but also to the sexual antics of the US Secret Service during President Obama’s recent visit to Cartagena, Colombia. On the lighter side, sex momentarily edged out gladiatorial violence as the film based on Steve Harvey’s book “Think Like A Man” took the number one spot at the box office, knocking off “The Hunger Games.” The momentary lapse of insanity was only temporary, because before the week was out, the viewing public had once again turned its attention away from sexuality back to its other favorite perversion: massive and indiscriminate violence. A film like “The Avengers” makes me wonder how many times can we witness the destruction of New York City?  Is this not “breads and circuses” to keep our minds off the $2 billion loss by JPMorgan Chase, Walmart’s rampant corruption in Mexico, and continued bloodshed in Mexico and the Middle East.

While the Cartagena Hook Up with the Secret Service on the prowl for strippers and lap dances was an embarrassment to the Obama administration, it would really be a tall order to say that the incident was a shocker. The infamous “Tail Hook” scandal of 1991 made it painfully clear to anyone who had a pulse that the US military either fosters or tolerates a culture of sexual harassment and assault that routinely degrades women. For those who were born after the Cold War, I am referring to the four days in September of 1991 when a fraternity of US Navy and Marine Corps aviation officers took Vegas in a storm of debauchery and perversion and allegedly assaulted over 80 women, many of these incidents occurred with the full-knowledge of flag officers who did nothing to stop them. I have doubts real doubts about the so-called ability of our armed forces to protect our country if they can’t protect their womenfolk, even baboons are more capable of that. But more about primates later.

Radio also did its part to add to the obsessive-compulsive mix of sex and violence in US culture. As I drove into work this morning there was a lot of sex-talk show I tune into every day. Granted, it was the show that regularly featured comedians with jokes about bodily functions, NASCAR, unsanitary hotel rooms, insane relatives, binge drinking, and sex in awkward places. In short, it is my kind of morning show. Most of the time it’s just background noise for me as I polish off my morning coffee, but today there was actually something of substance. The woman commentator was reading off the national and international headlines of freak-show oddities and she came across the work of two inventors that were designing a robot to take the place of prostitutes, which would put the women from Cartagena out of work.

To be continued…

Cross-posted at B2L2: http://b2l2.com/2012/05/16/the-secret-ser…tteries-part-i/

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The Fascinating Case of Jose Emilio, Part III

on May 9, 2012 by admin in university, university life, Comments (0)

After several months of painful deliberation, the Ad Hoc Committee on Farting produced a White Paper that detailed the intricacies of the problem and proposed that the department grant teaching assistantships to students that had a score of 20 or higher on their digestive and rectal exams.

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The Fascinating Case of Jose Emilio, Part II

on May 2, 2012 by admin in dysfunctional, gastric dysfunction, university life, Comments (0)

The departmental secretary sent a memo to all of the graduate students informing them that the handbook “specified the appropriate uses of the office,” and eluding to the fact that breaking wind clearly wasn’t on the list of accepted activities. Still, Jose Emilio seemed impervious to external feedback. It was as if he were living inside his very own gas chamber; his own fart-terrarium, content in his own Peppy LePew existence.

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The Fascinating Case of Jose Emilio, part I

on April 25, 2012 by admin in gastric dysfunction, Comments (0)

Jose Emilio’s gas, however, was different. It was indefinable; it was post modern is the sense that it embodied a meditation and self-critical reflection on the essential qualities of gasiness. It was its own never-ending discourse, circuitous, and digressive.

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Lindsey Lohan and soft-core necrophilia, part II

on April 18, 2012 by admin in Lindsay Lohan, Marilyn Monroe, Necrophilia, Comments (0)

Despite the intent to recast the “Last Sitting,” there are some noticeable differences between the two shoots. The original sitting was shot with a soft white background, which created the […]

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Lindsey Lohan and soft-core necrophilia

on April 11, 2012 by admin in Lindsay Lohan, Marilyn Monroe, Necrophilia, Comments (0)

Terry Gilliam’s 1985 film, entitled Brazil, comes to its conclusion soon as the protagonist Sam Lowry informs his girlfriend, Jill Layton, that he has reported her dead to the authorities. As a result, she no longer has to fear detention. Relieved, she kisses her would-be hero and responds, “Care for a little necrophilia?”

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Letter to My Dog, Vol. II, part II

on April 4, 2012 by admin in dogs, marijuana, Comments (0)

The Electro-Doggy-Shock crushed your Alpha-male ego and it produced so much anxiety that you developed a rash, a skin condition that manifested itself with little suppurating boils and lesions on your back. My wife freaked and called the vet, who in turn consulted veterinarians from California, Nebraska and throughout the Eastern Seaboard. The goddamn vet gave us some antibiotics and a bill for over six-hundred dollars.

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Letter to My Dog, Vol. II

on March 28, 2012 by admin in Blue Velvet, dogs, Comments (0)

We tried lessons and obedience training, but the trainer refunded our money after an hour. The situation was serious. The old bat next door, who has always hated us, started a petition with the Home Owners Association to get rid of you, and we were secretly worried that one day you’d wake up in the trunk of a car driven by a guy like Frank Booth from Blue Velvet.

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Final words on the Dream

on March 21, 2012 by admin in American Dream, Angie Sánchez, illegal immigration, Comments (3)

I love this country and I’m incredibly grateful for all that I have, but Mexico and will always be in my heart and until I’m able to return and reunite myself with the rest of my family I will not be completely happy.

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Is the dream ilegal? Part XIV

on March 14, 2012 by admin in American Dream, Angie Sánchez, illegal immigration, Comments (3)

The knowledge that I have gained in the couple years that I have been at the university are worth everything I have gone through. I don’t think it’s fair, but I have an immense amount of appreciation for what I have obtained through my hard work and determination. I hope that my input that I have given in some of my classes have made an impact on people who unfortunately do not know any better about us and our situations.

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